You may not want to recognize it, but fear is what stops you in the language class, in real life
and everywhere. Fear is taking your dreams out of you, and it is a devil in
disguise, as it appears not as fear, but as any excuse that will allow you to
blame everything and everyone except you. Let’s face our fears for once when
studying a language and let’s start doing the right things.
I am to tell you the real story of one of my
students, whom I will call Tristan. Tristan is a normal child, a pre-teenager
who hates classes and studying but who wishes to thrive in his studies as he’s
already understood that’s the best choice. However; he normally prefers playing
football or hanging around with his friends. Being the only child of a divorced
couple makes him feel a bit insecure sometimes, and it seems –as far as I could
get from his few comments- he’s being used by his own parents to attack each
other. I don’t think parents do this on purpose, but an innocent comment can
really get into a child’s mind and make him feel insecure.
Tristan really wants to thrive in the class, he
looks his classmates with envy when he sees them standing at the whiteboard and
writing the proper solutions to the book activities or answering the correct answers
to me. When it comes to him, he normally did wrong. It seemed to me I couldn't
teach him anything at all, and I started to feel discouraged. Any written
activities given would be a total disaster to him, and he didn't even finish
them at all. I thought he wasn't interested in the class, and told him off
constantly, which didn't really work... so I decided to change my approach.
I asked him directly when I had a moment alone with
him, and the answer was really heart touching. “Teacher, I can’t do this
because I’m silly, and I am afraid that everybody laughs at me when I do things
incorrectly”. By the time this poor child finished saying this he was in tears,
looking at me with an apology on his face, and then I realized what the problem
was.
Life experiences, classmates, silly teachers like me, his
parents and the entire world made him believe he was a kind of second class
person and scared him to death because he didn't want to fail, so he preferred not doing his work, just because it was safer for him. I have already told you, The Dormant Giant
cannot make a difference between reality of fiction, so inside Tristan mind, he
was really stupid and not capable of doing what the rest of his classmates did.
This kid was broken, and so I became by that time.
My instinct was telling me to comfort him, to
support him and give him an immense hug, but I didn't. I motivated him instead!
I told him the elephant’s fable, that one that refers to a baby elephant in a
circus, tied to a stick with a chain. By the time the elephant was big and
strong enough to break the chain into pieces, fear and the thought that he
couldn't do it stopped him. I told Tristan he was a big coward elephant, I told
him I only teach champions and that I wanted him to move his ass right now! I
told him to stand up and beat his chest while screaming with me:
I’m a champion!!!!!
Let’s do the opposite
Can you guess how Tristan has been doing since
then? Well, he’s not the best in the class but he’s doing great. He is
currently thriving during lessons, answering correctly, making great homework,
he speaks in English -his second language- with security and he esteems himself, and more importantly, he is much happier.
I just made him believe the opposite of what he
thought, and yes, is that simple. I could do it with him as he is still like a
piece of clay a teacher can model, adults are not. That means it has to be you
and only you who stands up and shouts “I’m a champion!” and stop being afraid
of everything.
Most adult students are in silence during classes,
most don’t do all the homework, and most of them are expert excusers, yeah!
I’m always listening excuses such as:
“I don’t have time for this”
“It’s difficult!”
“I’m not afraid... it’s... difficult”
“I have nothing to say”
Or my favourite one, silence, bloody silence in
response. And when silence comes it’s very funny to see them avoiding my sight,
not moving, not breathing, not even existing... scared to death so the teacher
does not ask them, and waiting for a classmate to answer so they avoid
speaking. But come on, if you avoid speaking two things happen, one, you send
the wrong message to the Dormant Giant, telling him you should remain silence
during the class, second thing, you will never learn.
You don’t have to experience the whole
transformation Tristan had, but you can try by doing only the opposite of what
you normally do. It is that simple, if you said you didn't have the time, you now say you have it. If you said it was difficult, you now say it’s easy. If
you said you couldn't, you know say you can! And if you didn't speak during the
class, you now do it!
I give you my word, everything will change dramatically
in a short time. Just remember, and this is the same thing I told Tristan, once
you've done something good, I will not accept you coming back, you keep on
moving your ass and you keep on improving yourself. That is your only focus.
The Comfort Zone
This is a very important concept in modern psicology,
and it is a very simple concept, you feel safe in the area you know well, and
your Dormant Giant tells you that in the unknown part of the world –the vast
majority of this planet- monsters that could kill you exist.
You feel safe translating into your mother language
during the classes, and you feel well if you don’t do what I tell you to do,
and unless you go out from that little portion of the world you live in you
cannot improve.
Yes, it is hard, but just because you keep on
telling excuses to yourself, stop doing it, do the opposite you've been doing
recently and that would be it! The problem would be solved. Once we get out our
comfort zones we get to know that a monster didn't kill us when we spoke in a
different class or when we offered ourselves voluntarily instead of hiding. On the other hand, we
expanded our comfort zone. Simple, isn't it?
Are you still giving excuses to yourself?
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